Dramatic new announcements by Obama

In celebration of the Jewish festival of Purim President Obama has announced an extension of his policy of rapprochement. In a speech to the Annual Conference of the JfJfEwwtKU organisation (Jews for Justice for Everybody who wants to Kill Us) he said:

"Everybody knows that my policy of reaching out to genocidal antisemites, which was so successful with President Assad of Syria and which will also succeed with Iran, is the right thing to do. I therefore now plan to extend this policy beyond just Middle Eastern despots and clerical fascists.

First of all, therefore, I am opening my hand to the Nazi party of Germany. Indeed, there are many law-abiding Germans still living today who never accepted the legitimacy of the democracy imposed by the Allied forces after World War 2. This includes respected SS officers and highly decorated concentration camp guards, not to mention the many hundreds of thousands of members of the modern German National Socialist Party. We have no right to meddle in the internal affairs of Germany and to engage solely with the regime of Chancellor Merkel. I am therefore setting up a special embassy in Berlin to improve our previously badly damaged relations with the Nazi party. This will ensure that we can continue to work together peacefully with Germany when the Nazi party inevitably returns to power."

In the same speech Obama also announced similar rapprochements with the Communist Party of Russia and the Imperialist movement of Japan. For Britain there was a very welcome announcement of new initiatives to support both the Islamist anti-democracy organisation Hizb al Tahir and the BNP, hence demonstrating the extent to which Obama will reach out his hand of friendship. As Obama stressed when making this announcement:

"it is certainly not for us in the USA to pass judgement on people with different, but equally valid, ideologies."

At the end of his speech Obama stressed the core philosophy driving his exciting plans to unite the whole world:

"Everything is driven by our respect for different ideologies and faiths, and above all the commitment to never again meddle in the internal affairs of any other country".  

In a separate - but entirely consistent - policy announcement Obama made it clear that, in order to ensure that no Jewish household in Israel could justify building an extension, he will be banning any future Jewish births there. Pregnant Jewish women will be required to attend a new American funded Hamas clinic in Gaza city for an abortion.

See also: Kerry frustrated at peace framework between Jews and Amalekites in Persian Empire