Metropolitan Police Statement on the arrest of EDL leaders Robinson and Carroll*

Following the illegal publication (on numerous racist websites) of this video purporting to show that the arrest of Tommy Robinson and Kevin Carroll was somehow unfair, we wish to provide the following points of clarification.

1. Both Mr Robinson and Mr Carroll are clearly wearing identical tea-shirts which are predominantly black in colour. This is proof that they are part of a conspiratorial fascist blackshirt army intent on destroying the entire social fabric of the United Kingdom.
2. Both Mr Robinson and Mr Carroll are speaking in an extreme working class dialect, a clear indication of anti-multiculteralism.
3. Both Mr Robinson and Mr Carroll are walking at a brisk pace that is fully consistent with intent to do harm to a Muslim place of worship.
4. Prior to the 'confrontation' Mr Robinson can clearly be heard whistling, which is known to be a racist call to arms.
5. Mr Carroll alleges that he was the victim of an "unprovoked assault". However, note the aggressive manner in which Mr Carroll attempts to stop himself being hit. 
6. Moreover, the man (who we can confirm is a Mr Carl Marks of Islington) who allegedly "assaulted" Mr Carroll" was, in fact, acting in self-defence. Seconds before the assault Mr Robinson can clearly be heard talking about "tensions in the community" and "violent mob".  This was a manifest signal that Mr Robinson and Mr Carroll were themselves about to launch an unprovoked violent attack against Mr Marks.
7. Despite the obvious aggression and intent of Mr Robinson and Mr Carroll the Met Police showed considerable restraint in not arresting the pair until they committed the grave offence of walking in London without the express permission of Sheik Abu Qatada.
8. In the interests of community cohesion, which is the primary objective of the Metropolitan Police Force, we are delighted to announce that we have co-opted the above mentioned Mr Marks to be a member or our multi-cultural diversity team. This team, which is answerable to the Minister for "Faith and Communities"  Baroness Warsi, will be fully responsible for determining who the Police can and cannot arrest. The team is led by Mr Anjum Chaudhary (leader of Al Mahjaroun) and co-chaired by Mr Bill Greenshields (Chairperson of the Communist Party of Britain). As an active member of the Violent Islamo-Marxist Fascists against Loyal Brits organisation (also know as 'United Against Fascism') Mr Marks will bring valuable experience on how to fight racists.

 * To pre-empt humourless commenters this is intended as satire.

See also Board of Deputies statement on the banning of Spencer and Geller
Excellent relevant Pat Condell video.
Allow Pamela Geller and Robert Spencer to Speak in UK Petition | GoPetition