Friday, February 05, 2016

United Nations replaces Valentine's Day with Palestine's Day*


In a surprise move today the United Nations announced that 14 February is no longer to be known as Valentine's Day, and instead will be renamed as Palestine's Day. The move came in response to the ongoing claims - now accepted as the truth - that 14 February was celebrated as Palestine Independence Day by Muslim Arabs every year for 5000 years until 1948 when the Zionists deviously invented 'Valentine's Day' to divert world opinion away from their suppression of Palestinian Muslims.

The United Nations ruling was unanimously approved by all 59 Muslim nations. Britain's UN Ambassador Matthew Rycroft was instructed by David Cameron to abstain but also cast his vote in favour, since he had not had time to buy his wife a Valentine's Day present this year, and this gave him an excellent get-out. The ruling, which is is now enshrined as international law (and so cannot be challenged) contains the following points of explanation: 
  • It is totally unacceptable that there should be a day in the year when people are encouraged to express their love for people other than the Palestinians. Everybody must understand that the Palestinian people must be the focus for everybody's attention for 365 days of the year - not just 364.
  • Palestine's Day will provide all progressive people in the world with the opportunity and incentive to express their deep love for the Palestinian people by sending cards, tweets and Facebook messages like "Death to Israel and all Zionists", "Destroy the apartheid state of Israel", "Zionism is fascism"
  • Just as on Valentine's Day - when people not sending cards to their partners are exposed as heartless and unloving - anybody who refuses to send a Palestine's Day card will be exposed as a Zionist fascist to be hounded and ridiculed. 
  • Just as on Valentine's Day Muslims are not obliged to participate, although it is recommended that they donate extra charity on this day to Hamas and Hezbollah.
Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas (already celebrating the 11th anniversary of his 4-year term of office) was ecstatic saying
 "When the Zionists stole Palestine they also stole the historic Palestine Day. Just as there had been unbroken Arab Muslim rule in Palestine for over 5000 years until 1948 so too had there been an annual world Arab Palestine Day on 14 February for the same period. The Zionists stole that too"
President Obama welcomed the UN decision saying
"Valentine's Day is by definition anti-Islamic and especially anti-Palestinian.  A historic wrong has been put right. Moreover, this now means I know longer have to bother with all the hassle of getting a Valentine's card and gift for Michelle".
* Satire. But the 'Palestinians' have hijacked everything else so why not this?

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2 comments:

Lynne Marton said...

One major problem - islam has only existed for 1400 years - so the 5000 year claim is #ISLAMFAIL!!!!!!!

Edgar Davidson said...

Lynne: It is called satire (as was stated on the article)